Learning Your Body's Language
At some point, we have all wished our bodies came with a manual. Rather than silencing unwanted symptoms, what if we learned how to use our bodies' communications to achieve better health?
I want to share a valuable lesson I learned by telling you a story about silver. This may seem unrelated, but in its essence it is very applicable. This was originally told by Elder F Burton Howard in 2003:
“…[My wife’s] vision for our marriage was exemplified by a set of silverware. As is common today, when we married she registered with a local department store. Instead of listing all the pots and pans and appliances we needed and hoped to receive, she chose another course. She asked for silverware. She chose a pattern and the number of place settings and listed knives, forks, and spoons on the wedding registry and nothing else. No towels, no toasters, no television—just knives, forks, and spoons.
“The wedding came and went. Our friends and our parents’ friends gave gifts. We departed for a brief honeymoon and decided to open the presents when we returned. When we did so, we were shocked. There was not a single knife or fork in the lot. We joked about it and went on with our lives.
“Two children came along while we were in law school. We had no money to spare. But when my wife worked as a part-time election judge or when someone gave her a few dollars for her birthday, she would quietly set it aside, and when she had enough she would go to town to buy a fork or a spoon. It took us several years to accumulate enough pieces to use them. When we finally had service for four, we began to invite some of our friends for dinner.
“Before they came, we would have a little discussion in the kitchen. Which utensils would we use, the battered and mismatched stainless or the special silverware? In those early days I would often vote for the stainless. It was easier. You could just throw it in the dishwasher after the meal, and it took care of itself. The silver, on the other hand, was a lot of work. My wife had it hidden away under the bed where it could not be found easily by a burglar. She had insisted that I buy a tarnish-free cloth to wrap it in. Each piece was in a separate pocket, and it was no easy task to assemble all the pieces. When the silver was used, it had to be hand washed and dried so that it would not spot, and put back in the pockets so it would not tarnish, and wrapped up and carefully hidden again so it would not get stolen. If any tarnish was discovered, I was sent to buy silver polish, and together we carefully rubbed the stains away.
“Over the years we added to the set, and I watched with amazement how she cared for the silver. My wife was never one to get angry easily. However, I remember the day when one of our children somehow got hold of one of the silver forks and wanted to use it to dig up the backyard. That attempt was met with a fiery glare and a warning not to even think about it. Ever!
“I noticed that the silverware never went to the many ward dinners she cooked, or never accompanied the many meals she made and sent to others who were sick or needy. It never went on picnics and never went camping. In fact it never went anywhere; and, as time went by, it didn’t even come to the table very often. Some of our friends were weighed in the balance, found wanting, and didn’t even know it. They got the stainless when they came to dinner.
“The time came when we were called to go on a mission. I arrived home one day and was told that I had to rent a safe-deposit box for the silver. She didn’t want to take it with us. She didn’t want to leave it behind. And she didn’t want to lose it.
“For years I thought she was just a little bit eccentric, and then one day I realized that she had known for a long time something that I was just beginning to understand. If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.”
Eternal Marriage, emphasis added
Of course, this analogy is beautiful advice for how to treat a marriage. But I want to apply this to another relationship—our relationship to our own bodies.
Most of my life I’ve been a poor example of what I’m about to say. But after all the pain, I’ve learned this lesson—as given by Elder Howard above:
“If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently.”
What does it look like to treat our bodies “differently”?
It might look like making different choices when it comes to food, exercise, and rest.
It might look like taking time away from screens and distractions to listen to our own thoughts, sensations, and feelings.
It might look like treating our bodies as sacred rather than debasing them.
It might look like seeking to know our bodies better than anyone else knows them.
It might look like listening to our bodies’ communications—including pain and discomfort—rather than silencing them.
If we are not doing these things, can we really be surprised if we begin picking up tarnish and dents?
Learning Your Body’s Language
I want to focus on communication. Communication is vital to any relationship.
It’s unfortunate that we’ve been taught to fear and silence signals from our bodies.
We have been taught to see the body’s unwanted communications as problems that needs fixing. If we have a headache we take a painkiller. If we bruise a shin we put ice on it. We take fever reducers, cough suppressors, antibiotics, and antihistamines—all to turn off the body’s natural responses.
But what if the body is actually showing us what it needs by how it reacts? What if we saw symptoms as healing responses rather than the body exhibiting deficiency?
Our interference can be more detrimental than helpful. Slowing blood flow to healing wounds. Suppressing our natural detox responses. Working through sickness rather than resting.
Pain and sickness are inconvenient, but so is fighting our bodies. I learned that lesson when I had a concussion a few years ago. The more I fought it, the longer I took to recover.
Pain continues to be one of my biggest teachers. As I listen to its voice every day, I use it to guide myself to learn how to use my muscles again. I’ve experienced a variety of “flavors” of pain—from adhesed fascia to deteriorated muscle to soreness and fatigue. Each of these has something to teach me. Sometimes the answer is rest. Sometimes it is movement. Sometimes it is learning how to reconnect or release.
Learning this language has been important to my progress. The fact that my body is communicating with me means it is still trying to heal. I have emerged from numbness into sensation. And I count it a blessing, even if it is frustrating and stressful.
In case there is someone who needs to hear this:
If you have chronic pain, your body is still trying to heal. It may need intervention, but suppressing symptoms is not it.
In 2019, I had been unable to raise my arms for two years. Yet, I was sure that the problem was something I could fix. What I needed was to understand what my body was trying to tell me.
At first, all I could say was what wasn’t working.
Exercise did nothing.
Stimulating my muscles with electrical impulses and vibration didn’t help.
Fascia release had extremely limited usefulness.
At first, all the intervention my body would accept was energy work. This was part of the reason I thought my condition was psychological. But it was only the tip of the iceberg.
Trial and error is an extremely frustrating way to learn. But when you have nothing else, sometimes all you can do is roll up your sleeves and begin.
Where do you begin with your body?
Start with one thing—one loud, persistent communication. It could be physical, emotional, spiritual, or even environmental or social.
For example:
Physical pain or discomfort
Depression, anxiety, trauma, grief
Guilt, unworthiness, lack of integrity
Isolation, disorder, displacement, rejection
Focus on one communication and try to gain an understanding of what your body is telling you. You might try some of the following techniques to get more information.
Muscle Testing
We have more than the five senses we typically talk about: taste, touch, smell, sight, and hearing. Other senses include temperature, pressure, proprioception, and receptivity to light and color. The world and people around us pulse with vibration, packed with information. Every atom that we interact with has a charge.
Our bodies process a lot of information. And in rudimentary ways it is possible to access some of it.
Just like binary is a simple system of “0s” and “1s”, communication with the body can be as simple as asking “yes” or “no” questions.
When it comes to methods of muscle testing, different people have different preferences. The important thing is to establish a reliable frame of reference to understand a “yes” or “no” response from your body.
Establishing “Yes” or “No”
Leaning method: Standing on both feet, set an intention with your body that leaning forward means “yes” and backward means “no.”
Arm resistance method: This requires a partner. Stand with your arm held out to the side at 90 degrees from your shoulder. Your partner’s role is to push down on your arm and your role is to resist. Set an intention with your body that successful resistance means “yes” and weak resistance means “no.” This is not a contest of strength—not a lot of pressure should be required from either party.
Finger resistance method: Create a closed circle with the forefinger and thumb of one hand. Insert the forefinger of your other hand into the circle. The role of your second hand is to break the circle open by pushing through the forefinger and thumb of the first hand. The role of the first hand is to resist. Set an intention with your body that successful resistance means “yes” and weak resistance means “no.”
Eye muscle interface: This is my own method. I close my eyes and imagine something like a computer screen. On one half is a white field that is labeled “yes.” On the other is a black field labeled “no.” I set the intention that my gaze will “point” toward the correct answer. Colors are not required, my mind naturally creates them sometimes. A mental interface like this could look like anything as long as you remember which direction has which label.
It’s good to ask an orienting question or two to start: one that has a clear “yes” answer and one that has a clear “no” answer. “Is the sky green?” or “Is my name ___?” are good examples.
Between the question and the muscle test, I usually take two deep breaths and relax to clear my mind of expectation. I want to avoid consciously influencing the answer I get.
Ask the question, breathe, do the “yes/no” test.
Some of my recent examples of successful tests:
Are the vitamin supplements I am taking still helpful? Yes. I have been reading worrisome things about vitamin supplements. I would like to get off of them, but only if they are no longer helpful. For now, they are. But I got a “no” on the fish oil.
How many days should I take EDTA? Five. (This required a series of “yes/no” questions.) After receiving the feeling that I should take EDTA again, I wanted to know how long it would be ok to take it. It turned out to be very much needed, since I was experiencing the prickling sensation in my muscles again.
How much EDTA should I take? One dropper. I got the inkling that I have been taking too high of a dosage of EDTA and Vitamin C. I had been taking what was originally recommended online, but my body is indicating that I should only take half that much. I now have a schedule for taking EDTA every other day with a new supplement I just bought.
Asking the right questions can be tough. “Should I take more than one mL of EDTA?” is a pretty straightforward question. Asking “Is EDTA helpful?” can get an unclear answer. In my case, it was a “yes, but… you’re taking too much.”
Remember that you are not asking questions to absolve yourself of personal responsibility. The body is not a Magic 8 Ball or a fortune teller. Your body doesn’t make decisions for your life. You do. You choose what to do with the information you receive.
Writing Activities
Journaling
The times when I don’t feel like writing are often the times I most need it. Journaling is a tool for making the unconscious conscious. Facing what you’re thinking or feeling can be a first step to healing trauma or processing emotions.
Sometimes the hardest part is getting started. If that’s the case:
Write one sentence that describes what you’re feeling.
Name the pain, emotion, trauma, or hurt that is plaguing you. Describe how it feels.
Tell a story to blow off steam.
Write about a hope or a dream you have.
Reminisce about a person, place, or thing that felt good.
Then, look at what you wrote and consider going deeper.
Deep Why
Ask yourself why:
Why do you feel the things or the way you are feeling?
What stood out about the story you wrote?
Why do you hope what you hope and dream what you dream?
Why did the past feel better than the present?
Examine your answers to the above questions and consider asking “why?” again until you feel you have gotten to a root cause. It may feel like an “aha” moment or a moment of clarity. This is an important moment of communication between our spirits and bodies!
Our subconscious can try to protect us from self-examination because of the effort it takes. It naturally resists change and prefers the status quo. But it’s only if we do this kind of examination that we can be conscious enough to make the choices needed to heal.
Once you feel you have a root cause of your pain or trauma, set a goal and an intention to change and follow through.
Prayer & Meditation
None of the progress I have made could have been done without heavenly help. This is no exaggeration.
I did not have the knowledge to look into fascia or energy work because I didn’t know they existed. I had no idea that I was being poisoned because it was happening so slowly. Therefore I had no motivation to change my lifestyle. I had no reason to question medical science or authorities, even despite my intuition. I assumed that no matter what greed or misinformation existed it could not effectively upend a system whose purpose was to heal.
Only God could have directed me and changed my mind on these things. I was not awake or aware enough to do so without his guidance. This is why I strongly recommend seeking heavenly direction and inspiration for any healing journey.
You will not be able to achieve the same results on your own power or even with the help of another knowledgeable human being. One or both of you will need inspiration.
If you don’t already pray, consider beginning by asking if God is there, how he feels about you, and one thing you can do to find healing.
The spirit has a language of its own. But I don’t believe that it is counterproductive to learn to communicate with both your body and spirit at the same time. After all, they are intimately connected. The state of one can be indicative of the state of the other.
Answers to your prayers may come in a variety of ways. Here are some that I have experienced:
While studying scriptures, reading articles, or watching or listening to helpful information—certain phrases may stand out or an idea comes to mind.
Going about my day, I have a recurring thought or idea. I take special care to write these down so I don’t forget before I can act on them.
I have a feeling impressed upon me, either during prayer or later on—such as peace, calm, or assurance, often confirming that I’m already doing the right things.
On the other hand, if I start to take an action that I shouldn’t, sometimes I receive a feeling of confusion or warning.
As you grow your spiritual senses, your receptivity will grow. You will find you are guided to the answers you need.
And yes—you can and should seek spiritual direction on matters of physical and spiritual wellbeing.
In my experience, spiritual healing and physical healing are intimately tied.
See Your Reflection in People & Things
This is one that is difficult for me. Here is what I mean by seeing your reflection. Your body is a reflection of you. Your relationships (at least partly) are a reflection of you. Your environment (at least partly) is a reflection of you. Your habits are a reflection of your subconscious beliefs & values.
Consider the state of your house or room.
Consider the state of your relationships in general.
Especially consider the state of your closest relationships, your relationships with authority, and your high-conflict relationships.
I’ve heard, and it feels true for me, that the things we most despise about others are often flaws that we, ourselves, possess and need to work on. So, in my interactions I’m learning to ask myself what the relationship says about me.
What do our words, tone, and body language say about our relationship to ourselves & others?
Do we fight, freeze, flee, or fawn when it comes to interacting with certain people? If so, why? If we can get deep enough (like above, with journaling) we can learn something about ourselves and make a conscious choice that could improve all of our relationships and our health.
And when it comes to our environment, what does our space say about us? I mean more than just a reflection of our personality. What does it say about things like our values & beliefs? How we spend our time & money? Is our space in integrity with what we say we value? Are our walls bare? Are our shelves full? Or vice versa?
I’ve typically been highly controlling of my space until the last few years. Possibly, OCD. Everything had its proper place where it was “meant” to go. And now neatness bows to convenience. Going deeper has shown me that I needed to control what was happening outwardly because I couldn’t control what was happening inwardly. I needed to create order in my life. Now, I am learning to control what is happening inwardly at the expense of some outward disorder.
Although environment & relationship are external, I think it's still valuable to use reflections like these to see what is going on inside ourselves.
More Precious Than Silver
We have looked at communications from our bodies through muscles and nerves, through subconscious thoughts & feelings, through our spirits, our environment, and our relationships.
As you learn the language of your body and how it communicates in these ways you can learn what is needed to remove the tarnish that may try to cloud your precious health.
What is the one biggest thing your body is asking you to change (or even just investigate) right now?
Just as the story in the beginning—it takes commitment, consistency, time, energy, and dedication to upkeep anything precious, especially your relationship to your body. But you can do it. It will be worth it.
Your body’s communications don’t have to be mysterious. If you can hold back from interfering and try to understand first, your body will teach you what it needs. You will find the answers and healing you seek.
I believe in you.
With love,
Ordinary Girl
Bonus Segment: Emotion Guide for Healing
Much of what I wrote above is self-guided. However, if you find a helpful tool, why not use it? It may be an answer to prayer.
I occasionally receive invitations to attend free essential oil classes. Essential oils and emotions was the theme of a recent class, which is part of what inspired me to write this article.
The coach used a reference book, “Essential Emotions.” She had actually recommended it to me when I first participated in a doTERRA oil study. Mine is an older version.
For those who don’t know, trauma can manifest physical symptoms in the body. The purpose of this book is to correlate physical symptoms with their emotional roots and to find an essential oil to help with emotional release.
Tools like this may help you to get an “aha” about what your body is trying to tell you, much like speaking to a specialist might. It is meant to help you get an answer directly from your body.
There are three sections. The first section describes essential oils and their properties, both physical and emotional The second lists emotions and what essential oils are recommended to help with those conditions. It includes questions for reflection and affirmations to meditate on. The third section lists body parts and the trapped emotions that may correlate. It also includes reflection questions.
Let’s look at hands as one example. Say, there is pain or discomfort in your hands that you are trying to problem-solve:
According to the authors, hands represent the “ability to grasp or let go of ideas or experiences.” Correlated emotions are “self-doubt, resisting, resentful, stuck, indecisive.” This doesn’t mean that all these emotions apply. Most likely there are one or more emotions that resonate with you.
For this process, it is recommended that you choose one—whichever stands out the most. You can work on others at a later time.
Let’s say that “indecisive” really resonates. With this information, we can move over to the Emotions section of the book. Under “indecisive” it recommends that we “see Decisive.”
You could journal & do a deeper why with some of these questions.
The oils associated with “decisive” are lemon, clove, and lemon myrtle.
It is recommended to look up each of these oils, read their descriptions and see which one most resonates with you. Here is the description for lemon.
If the description above feels relatable, lemon might be a good choice to try.
We have now identified the emotional root to the physical symptom and we have found an oil to try. From here, we would put the oil to use &/or journal about the questions. Some examples of how to use the oil are included on the page above.
First time users of essential oils—there are some cautions to be aware of. Please see these articles on dilution & ingestion from an essential oil manufacturer that I use. I have taken essential oils internally before with no ill effects. But I don’t use them frequently this way and I study and consider which ones are safe, even if recommended in a reference book like this.
Some might wonder—how did the authors come to the conclusion about which emotions correlate with which physical ailments? I don’t know, unless it comes from experience working with clients.
In the past, when I have seen other correlation guides they have not always been accurate to my body. This is why I use muscle testing to confirm accuracy.
I have used this guide to give new oils a try, including juniper berry which I still use and enjoy. Just reading the descriptions under each one can help me see something I’m not clearly seeing about myself.
If you find something like this helpful, why not give it a try?